january

i can’t believe that january 2012 is so close to being over already.  i’m amazed at what this year has brought in its short 26 days. they have by far been some of the best 26 days in a long time. i’ve been thinking a lot lately about remembering and how powerful the testimony of the Lord is.

so i’m looking back…but just a little bit…to share about how wonderful He has been to me in january.

but i have to go back just a little further.  back in november God began speaking to my heart about being prepared.  He took me through the parable of the bridesmaids showing me how important it is to be prepared for what He is about to do. He showed me that by myself  i am the unprepared bridesmaid—always a second behind and not fully prepared.  and He showed me that i didn’t want to be like that anymore…so i’m trying– trying to be on time, more prepared, not always so rushed or having my calendar so full.  my iphone calendar helps a lot!    i’m not totally sure what He is teaching me to be prepared FOR…but i know that His word tells us to be prepared for His coming at anytime (and i think that means not just His physical coming…but when He is ready to come and move in/around/through us too).

preparing for word retreat (which i still need to write about) He taught me about being faithful.  word this year was focused on the very next parable in matthew 25…the parable of the talents. i was tasked to speak on the Master from the story.  at first it seemed so impossible because i was charged not to stray from the Master at all—not too much application, and nothing on the servants.  as i began to prepare i suddenly became overwhelmed at how much i wanted to say.  there was no way i could fit into 35 minutes all i wanted to say about who my Master (Jesus) is.  How can i paint a good enough picture of Him  to do Him justice?  i truly have no idea what i said as i spoke, but i do know that the preparation time reminded me so much of who Jesus is to me—and just how much i love Him.

in the midst of the preparation i attended passion 2012 in atlanta with some of our awesome college students.  passion is always amazing—the Word is brought, corporate worship is always incredible, anthems are revealed that will forever remind people of that moment …but this year for me it was nothing to do with any of that.  for me this year it was all about Jesus.(which is passion’s goal…but i mean it was about me and Jesus) it was 4 days of sweet moments of being captured by His Word as it was spoken, being so totally washed again in His love in a new, fresh way that i couldn’t help but get lost in the moment with Him and stand amazed. He spoke to me so personally about how i was using the things that have been entrusted to me and reminded me of the vision HE had  for those things…reminding me that all i have to do is say YES and He will do everything else. (ezekiel 36 taught me that last year) He reminded me that He had greater things in store from my life than i could ever accomplish but if i laid them down in fear of failure He wouldn’t receive that glory that He is due. He also showed me that even though He has absolutely entrusted me i can not do it alone.  i must rely on His strength and allow Him to accomplish the task because only He is able.

He has reminded me about boldness and courage through Paul.

He has reminded me to be faithful in the small things through Moises (a missionary friend who has recently gone to be with Jesus) and through word retreat.  i WANT to hear  Jesus say to me, “well done good and FAITHFUL servant!!!” and i want to know that at the end of my time here it is true of me that i “fought the good fight…” at word He showed us a just a glimpse of how amazing it will be to hear those words and rejoice with Him in heaven…and how much i absolutely want everyone i know to be there with me.

He reminded me of how much i adore my family—the one God linked me to by blood—and the ones He’s allowed me to be adopted in to…and not only how much i love them, but how i want them to love Jesus with all their hearts too.

He has taught me about the possibilities awaiting when i say YES to Him and just take a step toward Him.

He has reminded me of the absolute JOY of walking down His path and serving Him.  sunday night at word retreat (at 2 wednesday nights since then) i was just absolutely blown away by His grace and love that allows me to get to be in a place where He is teaching His children to love and worship and follow Him.  the sight just is almost too much to handle and stay standing.

He has reminded me of the absolute blessing my life is and how i am totally amazed and grateful that i get to be part of such an amazing ministry, at such a wonderful church, full of wonderful people who i love so much, with the BEST stinkin group of students.

He has allowed me opportunities to share about His love with people who don’t know Him, He’s given me knowledge of His will and taught me to pray it also letting me see how when we pray His will HE WILL ANSWER.

He has given me peace when i was totally out of control of situations that have been scary.

He’s let me be there to support friends who are being called to take scary steps—and also let me be there when He confirms over and over the calling and that He is trustworthy with it.

He has filled me…to overflowing. and it’s just january 26.

i can’t imagine what else He has in store…for January.

and february…and march…and all of 2012.

Lord give me the eyes to see You as You continue to move and show Yourself this year.  Let me have the time to take to rejoice in You as i should and give me the courage to continue to be faithful with the things You’ve entrusted me with. 

advent

so lately i’ve been on this idea of preparation.  i’ve been asking over and over, “how is God using this to prepare me for something later?”

i’ve not been just asking it about me and my personal life and walk with Jesus, but also about ministry and as the body of Christ.

i feel like as we’ve moved in to the advent season i’ve been thinking about it in a totally new way this year.

advent is traditionally the time when christians look back to celebrate the coming of the Messiah.  we focus on Jesus being born to Mary and there being no room at the inn.  a lot of time we add extra characters in there like the little drummer boy who played for Jesus or even santa or rudolph.

what i feel like is new this year is that as i look back on Jesus’ birth it propels me forward and prompts me to think of His return.  i’m not generally one to stand on street corners with a sign that says “THE END IS NIGH” or anything, but seriously…advent should remind us that we are to be preparing for Jesus return to earth for the second time.  to be letting His Spirit move in us to mold us into the “light of the world” and the image-barers of Him that we are intended to be.

i LOVE the story in luke 2…the shepherds and the whole host of angels…totally awesome!  but this year the story in Luke 1:39-45 has been on my mind more, it was even preached on today at church.  one of the things that so stands out to me in this story is Elizabeth’s preparation and hospitality to Mary.  Elizabeth is pregnant (with John the baptist) and Mary has become pregnant with Jesus.  Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth.  it doesn’t say in the Word, but i think by E’s response this visit was a spontaneous one.  Elizabeth wasn’t really LOOKING for Mary to show up at her door, but Elizabeth was prepared for a visitor, or at least she seems to be.

Think about it.  if you don’t have everything in order and guests show up to stay for 3 months you’re going to be freaking out and running around to get everything in place.  maybe there aren’t sheets on the guest bed, or you haven’t been to the store in a month.  but elizabeth wasn’t freaking out…instead, she was so prepared and overjoyed at Mary’s visit that she was able to hear from God through the Holy Spirit as He filled her spirit up. She knew exactly what the Spirit was saying to her as baby john the baptist leaped for joy in her womb.   and think how encouraging this word of confirmation must’ve been to Mary who was just doing all she could to be faithful to the Word God had recently spoken to her through the angel gabriel.

Elizabeth was prepared for the coming of her Lord. everything was in order and she was available to not only accept the joy given her from God, but she was able to be a blessing to Mary as well…

Lord, teach me to be prepared for You whenever You move in my life, or call me to move.  Let me be available to hear as You speak.

He’s preparing me

last night i was having dinner with a wonderful friend of mine, and she asked “so what is God up to in your life?”  my reply was simply “i’m not exactly sure”…which implies that i am not aware of what He’s up to…but i mean it more in a way of He’s up to something, i just don’t know what it is.  but as i reflected on her question i learned a few things that He’s doing right now.

first.  He has removed some relationships from my life that have been or could potentially be stumbling blocks.  He’s also graciously done this pretty painlessly. it’s not that there has been any big blow up or anything in them, we’ve just gotten too busy, or live too far apart, or something.  this is a big deal because when i see relationships changing i go into protection mode and normally try to over compensate for fear of losing people.  He’s teaching me right now that creating a wider distance between people doesn’t mean you can’t still love them and enjoy time spent with them when it is possible, these relationships just don’t need to take quite as high a place in my life.

He has also filled places in my life with new, wonderful, Godly friendships with people in the same place in life as me which is also a big deal.

second.  He’s teaching me to learn the lesson before the test comes.  what i mean is He’s saying, “Hey the stove is hot” and i say oh ok i wont touch it then, instead of “hey the stove is hot” and i say “is it?  i’m just going to touch it and see” (to my writer friends…sorry for the horrible use of punctuation there…)

i feel like lately there have been dozens of lessons He’s taught me by watching other people’s interactions with one another.  for example, the other day i witnessed a conversation between two friends and one was saying “you never hang out with me/talk to me etc…” and the second  was saying” i’m just busy…we talk…just not as much as you’d like.  don’t take it personally, i still love you…”  i really felt for the 2nd person.  i know in my life it’s just hard to talk to people that i don’t see everyday in my regular goings-on.  it’s not personal, it’s just hard.  sometimes though i take it too personally and i realized when watching that conversation that He’s really changed ME there to not get so hurt or afraid because i haven’t talked to someone in awhile.

He’s also taught me lessons on showing love and grace in hard situations, about confrontation, healthy relationships, responsibility, faith…

third.  i feel like He’s preparing me.  for what i’m not sure (hence the “i dunno” answer to my friends question).  all these lessons, coupled with so much anticipation for something to come as well as what i feel like is a season of particularly strong attack from the enemy.  he’s in my thoughts, dreams even…ick! i hate that guy!  i feel like i’m distinctly hearing the things he’s planting in my thoughts and seeing the temptations he’s putting in my path and feeling all the gross feelings he tries to bring us down with…

but i also feel a very strong word from the Lord to fight.  He has reminded me why it’s so important to know His Word (ps 119:11)and to be prepared at all times .  i’m so grateful in this time for the preparation of His word that He’s given me up to this point.  i’m grateful for the scripture He’s written on my heart because what i know readily comes to mind when it’s needed.  the Word is truly alive (heb 4:12) and it’s like i feel it zoom to the rescue when satan is throwing a dart at me.  it’s really so cool!

lastly, in the bible study we’ve just finished  (duty or delight by tammie head) she wrote “we do not fight FOR victory…we fight FROM victory”.  Jesus has already won the battle.  satan’s attacks won’t win because Christ sits victoriously now.

it’s a daily reminder to put on the full armor of God (eph 6) and to fight with the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God (eph 6:17) and to pray in the Spirit at all times.

Know His Word…it is truth—not the stuff satan tries to put in your mind…fight with scripture—ask if your negative thoughts about yourself or the temptation you’re facing comes from the Lord…if it’s not…combat that negative, wrong thought with the TRUTH of scripture.

and finally…take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.  don’t let the temptations, the self-loathing thoughts, the things that are not of the Lord, snowball in your life.  stop them before they start…you can overcome your thoughts.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 cor 10:5

Lord thank you for preparing and protecting me with Your Word.  Open my eyes that i might see well during this season where You are at work. give me the hunger for your Word that will sustain me and let me prepare well to run the race.

enjoying God

                             the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

that is the first part of the westminister chatechism.

t i remember the first time i heard that statement i was listening to john piper talk about it.  it really sparked a new idea of what my relationship with God was to be.

over the past week that statement has come to mind a number of different times. just last night before our wednesday night fathom worship time, i was asking some of our students what their time in the prayer room was like.  i asked why they came to that service, and if they spent that time truly seeking to meet with the Lord.  at the end of our conversation that statement was what i left them with.  the prayer room is to glorify Him because He is worthy and to meet with Him, because that is where we find true satisfaction.

sunday it came up when talking to a student about how they struggle to “really have a relationship with God” because it just seems like rules and expectations.

i’m doing a bible study right now called “duty or delight” by tammie head .  it’s really fabulous.  this morning as i was working through this week’s homework she made this statement:

sometimes life isn’t working for us because God is stirring a holy dissatisfaction.  He wants us to want Him more.

i realized that in the last few months this is where God has been leading me.  to being totally dissatisfied with many things in my life.  He’s shown me through dissatisfaction with friendships that sometimes i rely so much on friends and relationships to make me “happy” or “filled”.  He’s shown me at at times i get dissatisfied with my job because things don’t seem to be moving or it seems like a “dry” or “hard” season of ministry.

i also know that for a long time now He’s been calling me to Himself in different ways…many of which require more effort on my part than the “easy” relationship i was trying to have with Him.

and once i admitted what He was asking me to do, i realized that not doing it was disobedience…and that my disobedience plus looking for fulfillment in other “spiritual” things was why i was so dissatisfied in that season of life.

so here’s what i’ve learned:

that putting forth whatever it takes to be obedient to God is absolutely more of a blessing than a sacrifice.

that when you have a situation that requires you don’t talk about it to other people, you talk about it to God more…and by talking to Him MORE and FIRST you actually hear clearly…from Him…which helps you to walk obediently and freely…in His will. AND that not having to “figure things out”, “think them through”, “talk them out” before you lift it up in prayer allows you to actually surrender those things and yourself to Him without having to freak out about knowing what to do!

that more time with Him is truly greater than any time anywhere else.

that when you surrender to Him and come to Him first, He will do CRAZY awesome things (duh…its in the bible…)

that He WILL satisfy.  totally. completely.  He is TOTALLY enough.  TOTALLY sufficient.  nothing needs to be added.  nothing will make Him “cooler”. He and His Word are enough in anything. always…and He has reminded me of that.

He is AWESOME.

john piper said, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”

 in duty or delight, tammie head wrote: “He knows that we are most happy when we are most satisfied in Him…”

in the margin next to this sentence i wrote “the highest end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever”…i flipped the page and read a few more paragraphs, and saw that she ended this section of homework with the quote: “the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

He is so wonderful…

thank You Lord that you are teaching me to learn again how to enjoy You.  

obedience…

1 samuel 15:22

Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice

isaiah 1:19

If you are willing and obedient,
you shall eat the good of the land

2 years-ish ago i started this blog because i wanted to go through the psalms and discover what treasure was there about the character of who God is.  because i stink at commitments like this, or the gym, i gave up after awhile.

yesterday i had a conversation about obedience with a good friend of mine.  he said the word obedience but i feel like it rang in my ears 6 or 7 times.  i knew that God was highlighting it to me, but today i discovered that for awhile now He has been calling me and i have not been responding obediently.  He was very clear in His message to me that i’m not being faithful to what He is speaking to me…and therefore i’m not hearing what else He is saying.

i love His word.  it always amazes me.  He speaks and changes my life and thoughts through it.  it heals and teaches and everything else is says in 2 tim 3:16 (and elsewhere).  it’s my favorite thing…but i’ve not been in it; not like He’s called me to.  i’ve been lazy.

and He’s calling me to prayer.  not praying…but a lifestyle that seeks Him above all else and listens and hears what He is saying; to spend time not only in His word but in His Presence.

and so with my great friend Alyson, i’m going through psalm 119. meditating on and praying through the power of the word expressed in that psalm.

i also am going to try to keep the posts short…but really, that’s hard for me.

2 peter 1 :3-4

seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and  excellence.  For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent  promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.

lessons from canoeing

this weekend we took 50 kids canoeing.  this is always my favorite “fun” thing we do all year.  it’s an intense 3 days on the river  and camping over night.  as always it is a crazy trip…and this weekend was even crazier than usual—but as God does, He spoke so many things through this trip.

1.  the boss man asked if i would “bring up the rear” this year and be the last boat.  i think it was a nice way of saying “you’ll prolly be sorta slow, so just stay at the back” (which we proved not so true today by being the last boat to leave and the first boat to arrive at the end point…but whatever.)  so my canoe buddy, Kaitlin, and i were the last ones in the river.  this wasn’t my first time on the river and not that i’m awesome at the whole rowing a boat thing…but i’m not horrible either.  so i went into this weekend feeling pretty ok about my ability to make it down the river.  not 30 minutes into our  trip we hit a TINY branch and flip—our stuff went EVERYWHERE…but we got it recovered and drained all the water from our boat with some help and made it back on our way.

so what did i learn?  that no matter how confident i am in my own ability to do something, i can’t rely on that.  God reminded me that i always need His help, i always need Him to go before me, and walk beside me.  He seems to remind me every time i think i can do something on my own that i can’t.

2. (these are in no real order, except how they came to my mind.) today He reminded me that hard work pays off.  like i mentioned already, Kaitlin and i started off last each day.  we sorta floated and relaxed the first two days just chillin on the water.  today, we decided that there were very capable people at the back and that we wanted to actually canoe with other people near us, so we paddled HARD.  eventually, we ended up as the first boat in the pack.  this process taught me more than one thing…

A.  hard work pays off.  seriously, i’m not a super canoe-er.  i tend to guide the boat all zig-zaggy across the river and accidentally run into other boats.  today kaitlin and i tried harder.  i paid more attention to steering the boat so it would go straight-ish instead of zig-zaggy.  it worked…mostly.  and hard work pays off.  no matter that we weren’t the best canoe-ers, we pushed ourselves majorly…it hurt—physically, but we went straight-ish and ended up at the front.

B.  making goals for yourself is excellent.  the way we moved ourselves up the pack of boats was finding one particular boat we wanted to pass.  we made lots of little goals and celebrated ALL of them.  i think we got so into it that it surprised us when we actually made it to the front boats—we couldn’t believe it because small goals were achieved and added together accomplished a bigger goal.  also…making goals for yourself allows you to not just “do what everyone else is doing”.  it pushes you out of the status-quo where everyone is doing what everyone is doing.

C. just because you get to the front (top, meet your goal…whatever) doesn’t mean you can stop rowing your hardest. we FINALLY made it through the few boats at the back, the MASS CHAOS in the middle where most of the boats were, and to the front pack of 4 or 5 boats.  for awhile we were the very front boat.  we were in the mix of that front pack, but we were the first boat.  i guess because we’d worked so hard to get there we wanted a break (or our throbbing arms did) and so we slacked off for awhile in our rowing.  one boat passed us, then another…and suddenly we were back behind 4 other boats.  while we celebrated  getting to the front (and we really did…we were super proud of ourselves!!!) , after awhile we grew tired and complacent with our “race” against everyone else and slowed down.   we didn’t have another goal and so we had nothing to “go for” anymore except the end of the trip.

our walk with Christ is SO MUCH like this.  first, we can’t do this life without His help in EVERYTHING…we can’t rely on our own ability or strength to do anything, He is the one who is able (ephesians 3:20) in everything and strong when we are weak (2 Cor 12:9).  second, we need to set goals for ourselves in our walk.  small, attainable, foreseeable goals.  goals that over time accomplish a larger goal.  it’s the whole not “biting off more than you can chew” thing.  we often fail when we try to “cold turkey” drop old habits, or suddenly “change our ways” into new habits…but allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us slowly, step by step, one goal at a time will over time allow for Christ to reign in our hearts and show through our lives, changing us from the inside, out. these slow steps will allow for true heart change instead of outward habit changes that only last as long as new year’s resolutions.  and lastly, when we attain a goal that the Holy Spirit has led us to, we can’t stop there.  we have to keep going following His lead to the next thing He has for us in life.  we can’t memorize a few scriptures or go on one mission trip and call that good.  just like in the river, when we stopped paddling we floated further and further back from where we wanted to be.  the Holy Spirit is always moving us forward, and we have to persevere in our walk…pressing onward toward the goal (heb 12:1-2, 2 tim 4:7-8) that is sanctification by the Spirit, becoming more and more like Jesus as we walk through life.  when we stop pursuing Him and His desires and goals for us we become more and more guided by our own desires and flesh, and less by His Spirit.

3. the last one i will mention here is that His ways are not always our ways… (isa 55:9) but a good attitude can allow something stinky to be something good (rom 8:28). it rained a LOT this weekend.  i remember the first night, as the tarps over our heads were failing and  i was getting SOAKED in my hammock, asking God to please stop the rain and let me sleep for just a little while.  He didn’t. everything that didn’t get soaked when it fell into the river got soaked that night.  it stayed wet until…well, it’s still wet—i haven’t put it in the dryer yet.  not only was it wet—there was mud everywhere.  like the sticky, you sink 3 feet down every step you take kind of mud.  the second day it didn’t start raining until after we’d set up camp (praise Jesus!) but it did pour…and pour.  more mud…more wetness.  and did i mention that to get to our second camp site you had to walk STRAIGHT up a 10 foot mud hill? good luck with that…it didn’t happen.  sooooo we were wet…and stuck…and muddy—with a GREAT hill right next to the river.  one of the kids decided to make a mud slide. we were already DISGUSTING and wet…so why not embrace it?  make the best use of the circumstances.  we did—and it was AWESOME…a super great bonding, friendship building time.

so thank you Jesus for wet, muddy, rainy nastiness…it was awesome.

what if…

today was an awesome day.  actually, it’s been an awesome week.  hard, long, frustrating…beautiful, and really fun.

 tonite sorta just happened though—and it has left me thinking…a lot.

i’d mentioned to a friend about the prayer labyrinth that i wrote about the other day and he asked tonite how late it was open.  it was closing by the time this conversation happened, so luckily for me we just went and grabbed food instead and chatted, which always is a great time.

this particular friend happens to be great at just talking to people, which is something i stink at—but it’s only cos i’m scared and psych myself out.  anyway, he struck up a conversation with our waiter and mentioned to him about coming to an easter service at his church.

just a few weeks ago, i’d heard a sermon on exactly that—inviting someone to easter church.  on the importance of easter in our faith, and the AWESOME news of Christ’s resurrection—and how to invite someone to hear that.  and that’s what my friend did.

sidebar—it was also so cool, because it’s something i so wish i was able to do, and so it was stinkin cool to just see it happen so easily and naturally.

so tonite as i was reflecting on the day and talkin with Jesus, i thought of this guy, prayed for his mom (cos he’d said she had gotten injured recently—yeah the waiter said all this)…then thought about the possibility of him actually going to church this weekend.

so go with me…WHAT IF this guy has never heard the gospel or good news of Jesus before.

WHAT IF he says, “what the heck…maybe i’ll check out that church.”

WHAT IF he hears the gospel…and responds–maybe this week…or maybe some week down the road.

WHAT IF he begins attending church regularly…then begins to bring his mom

WHAT IF he begins to pray, and get involved in a small group or campus ministry at his school.

WHAT IF Jesus begins to change his heart—and people notice

WHAT IF those people begin to ask questions…and he shares his new faith—even though he’s not really sure about all the details.

WHAT IF he wants to know more—and begins to ask questions or have a relationship with a mentor person within the church.

WHAT IF he then feels a call from the Lord on his life

WHAT IF HE RESPONDS WITH “HERE I AM LORD”

WHAT IF he raises his children in the church…

WHAT IF  they see him being a church leader

WHAT IF he leads people to Christ

WHAT IF he becomes a vessel for the gospel to reach the unchurched and countless lives and generations are changed because of his ministry…

WHAT IF…

but what if the invitation hadn’t been offered…sure, other opportunities might’ve come up for him to come to Christ.

i dunno…but tonite the idea of missed opportunities…and possibilities that are not possible because of those missed opportunities has really been opened up to me.  who knows if this opportunity will result in fruit being produced for the kingdom of God—but i know for sure that at least the opportunity was taken to invite someone in to hear the glorious news of Christ’s defeat of death that we might be reconciled with God.

i’m scared, shy, i don’t know what to say…but that is really no excuse—it’s just a way of making me feel ok about all the missed opportunities.  this is what God is laying on my heart—and what He’s been saying for awhile.

i know what He’s called us to do…what He’s called ME to do…and i know that i must respond—yes or no.  and i know that every delay is a “no” to the Lord.  i have to be intentional—to get out of my comfy church bubble and trust Him.  i want to go—to spread the Good News…especially this easter…THIS is the greatest day in all of history…when the power of hell and death was defeated in the name of Love.

we watch the passion around easter…and ask “why did that have to happen?”, or “why did He have to go through that?”

He didnt HAVE to…He chose to.  He chose to because it was the only way that the people that God created…that had fallen so far from Him…could be with Him.  He could have said no (and whatever…we can debate theology later if you disagree) and if He’d said no there would have been no hope for us.

it was and IS the only way. JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY.

He chose to do it to be with me…and you—and every other person that we have the opportunity to tell about Him.  so what if He’d said no…?  what if we say no…?

Lord help me be obedient to your call and go out living and being your disciple, spreading your Good News.

prayer labyrinth

if i have never mentioned before how blessed i am by every teenager i get to serve with please let me do it now.

i’m so blessed by them everyday of my life. seriously, i don’t know how you non-youth ministry people go through life without doing it.  i have the greatest job, boss, co-workers, church ever…and the best students hands-down that anyone could ever have.

now i’m done rambling about that for now anyway…

this week from wednesday-sunday (which is easter) we are holding a prayer labyrinth at our church.  for anyone unfamiliar, a prayer labyrinth is basically a time of experiential worship. we do it twice a year, in the fall and at easter.  as usual, the spring labyrinth focuses somehow around easter and it’s meaning to us as christians.

this year we took “lent”, which is traditionally the 40 days before easter, and turned it into a time of pressing hard into Jesus.  we offered to our students the opportunity to commit to this 40 day process.  during this process each of the students received a “directive” each day via text, facebook,a note on their door, etc.  they were asked to respond daily to the though/scripture/song by journaling and creating.  sometimes they received objects and were told to incorporate them in their art, to fast from technology, speaking, and looking in a mirror, to try new things, and sometimes just to sit, be quiet and increase their “tolerance for solitude”.

for me this was scary.  i definitely had ally’s and partners in this process who gave me the creative ideas and helped me with it all. but it was so scary to me because i have this “standard” to which these labyrinths should meet up with.  the girl who has done them for all these years did them so brilliantly and excellently that i know i can’t even come close to doing them that way.  this is the 3rd labyrinth that i have been in charge of (even though in the fall it was ALL mrs. alex who did everything…and none of me at all), and because of my “standard” i want to micro manage it all.

God totally took away my control.

this labyrinth is completely, totally done by the students.  their stations throughout the lab are totally theirs.  the art is theirs, the scriptures are theirs, the thoughts are theirs…everything.

seriously, i was freaking out…i didn’t know if it was getting done…or if anyone was actually even doing ANYTHING…but holy cow.

Jeremiah 29:13 is one of my favorite scriptures…it says “you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart.”  if anything, this labyrinth absolutely proves that that promise is true.  i know that my God is faithful.  i know that He wants to be in relationship with His children…and i know that He delights when that happens.  the Lord met with these students during this process.  they are all on separate journeys…and at different places along those journeys, but the Lord met them all right where they were standing.  but He didn’t leave them there.  He pushed them along…and moved them all the time going with them, and it is so evident in their art.

there are things in every single space that moved me to tears.  (i must put up a disclaimer that i have worked 30 hours in the last 2 days…so maybe my emotions are running high…)  but seriously, the depth and maturity of their art and their thoughts that go beside the art is astounding.  their hearts are expressed SO brilliantly, and so honestly, and so beautifully.  looking at, and reading these things the students put together you would never know that 13-18 year olds did this stuff.  i don’t know many adults who could commit themselves and then pour themselves out so wholeheartedly.  these kids definitely set a standard that many adults i know would benefit from taking a close look at.  this is not “kid stuff”.  it is the hand of the Lord at work in their lives.  i can’t think of anything more awesome in the world to take part in and get to see.

the Lord is at work.  He is moving—at an amazingly perfect pace.  He is beautiful.

come see it.  it is a rare opportunity that we have to see so deeply into the hearts and lives of other human beings beside ourself.  there is art and thoughts that will speak to EVERY person.  that’s the beauty of seeing this journey through the eyes of 12 different people—there is something for everyone, no matter where you are on your walk with Christ.  i ask and invite you…i dare you even to try it out.

http://www.fathomministries.com/special-events

this is the website that tells you the place and the hours.

it is truly a beautiful thing to see the beauty and awesomeness of the Lord through the eyes of exceptional people—to any of you artists or anyone else on my team—you have blessed me so deeply during this process.

glory and praise to my awesome God for what He has done already and what He will do through this. i know it is going to be spectacular.

possession

i love God’s word.  i have especially been reminded of that lately.  it’s like, sometimes when i read the bible i read words…but sometimes i HEAR God .  last night i had the privilege of  subbing in a small group whose leaders were both out of town.  this is especially fun for me because it’s so rare that i get to have that time anymore.  i LOVED it.  some of the girls in the group had been in the “sunday school” time that morning where we finished up the book of Joshua.  it was super great to get to share what i’d taken away from that teaching time in the morning and to hear what they’d taken away from it.  then we talked about it.  it’s the PERFECT plan i think.

what stuck out to me the most was that in chapters 18-19 joshua was sorting the people of isreal into the land that God had given to His people.  they were finally there—they’d made it after the garden, the flood, abraham and the promise of isaac, jacob and esaus whole fight, joseph being sold into slavery and his family coming up to be with him through the famine, the isrealite captivity in egypt, the plagues, the exodus and the parting of the red sea, moses leading them for  40 years in the desert and his death, crossing over the jordan and marching around jericho…they’d made it to the promised land.

in these chapters they are finally taking possession of what was rightfully theirs.  God’s promise to abraham, isaac and jacob, moses and the people was being fulfilled.  He is ALWAYS faithful to His promises and we are seeing that right here.  this is a moment for sure celebration…but i bet if we were to be really honest, we’d skip over these two chapters if we were reading through.  why?  well because it’s “not important” ; it’s just telling where each tribe settled, it “doesn’t matter to me”, and except for God speaking so much through it yesterday i’d probably do the same thing.

they’d heard of this land for so long some of them probably thought that it didn’t exist and they’d never get there to see this “promised land”.  but here we are and these chapters are like God is saying to them, “You’re home. now go and own this land”  no longer did the people have to wander in the desert and wonder where they would sleep at night.  they could set up camp, build their towns and homes.  up until this point, even after they’d crossed the jordan and took jericho and ai, they were just visitors in some foreign place. (albeit as i said last night, not very polite guests—they came in and ravaged the place!)

but it’s like this—God has made promises to me, and to you even if you don’t know exactly what those are.  but those promises can never take root until i take possession of them.  just like to those wandering isrealites the promised land was some obscure place that may or may not exist, the promises i have received in the Lord may or may not exist in my brain either until i see them fulfilled.  but if HE has promised i can take that promise to the bank because i know that He who promises is faithful. (heb 10:23)

suddenly this obscure land was theirs.  they had their place, their piece of the promise that was given especially to them.  each tribe had it’s own part of the land and each part was different.

God has promised me things in life that i can understand and some things that i don’t understand yet.  i have seen some promises fulfilled already and some that i haven’t, but it doesn’t matter because i know that God will make good on every one of them.

the thing the girls and i ended on last night was this:  what is keeping you from taking possession of the promises of God?  we talked about how we compare our every situation with those of other people.  we’re jealous of what everyone else “has” when we only see what they have from the outside.  we don’t see the blessings we have been given in this moment because we’re too busy putting down what we have and wishing God were nicer to us and would just give us what He gives “everybody else”.  we miss the blessings and gifts of our season of life because we are constantly wishing we had something else instead of seeing how our life is exactly the life God has given us for this time and place.

what is in the way of believing the promises He’s made you and then what is stopping you from putting up your tent there?  are you jealous of something someone else has?  are you angry because of a circumstance you are in?  is it fear?  or “i don’t know how to do it” or “but i can’t do this it’s too hard”…or something else…

what avenue is God asking you to go down to that promise?  is it a call to ministry…or a conversation that you know needs to happen? is it taking a leadership role or inviting someone into a new friendship …

trust Him to lead you out of Egypt , through the desert, and into His promises for you.  He will blow your mind…He says so (eph 3:20-21)  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen

psalm 27

when i started this blog writing about what i learned from the psalms was basically the point of the whole thing.

over the almost year since i started this thing i have been through and seen so much about God in these chapters, but as i mentioned in the previous post, i’m trying to get back to the heart of it…again.

over the last week or so i’ve had a handful of scriptures come up in various places.  lamentations 3:22, rev 21:5, jeremiah 33:3, 2 chron 16:9…and psalm 27. sunday alone it came up at least 3 times.  i came home that night and dug in.  here’s what i got…

the Lord is my light and my salvation

i am a picture person.  when i read i create pictures in my head to set up what i’m reading.  this is no different.  as i’ve read this part of the verse, i find myself picturing this dark dark void where fear is present.  but suddenly there is a light that appears, no matter how small, and suddenly the dark doesn’t seem so endless anymore, so hopeless, or so abyss-like.  have you ever walked through a church at night?  terrifying… playing those games in the dark was always horrible for me because darkness is scary.  but even the slightest glimpse of light around a door or from a window allows you to find your bearings again and sort of figure out where you should go.

this is what i think of when i read this verse.  in the deep scary darkness the Light shines ever so slightly or maybe super bright but suddenly you have direction again.when you’re lost or confused or have gotten turned around and are scared the Lord shines His light and offers you hope.  this light saves you.  it rescues you from whatever awaits in darkness. and no longer you have anything to fear.

Light casts out all fear.  the Lord casts out all fear.  where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.  freedom.  (2 cor 3:17)

verses 2-3 are like david is saying, EVEN when all the world is against me, everything is going wrong and  falling apart EVEN THEN, i love the NASB rendering in spite of all [that is going on around me] i will be confident [in the Lord]. even then i will look to the Light in the darkness and know that it will all be ok.

and i love verse 4.

one thing i ask of the Lord

one thing i seek

that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life

to gaze upon His beauty and to see Him in His temple.

of course in david’s form it seems to not fit in after what he’s just said about his enemies and the whole word falling in and all that.  maybe he didn’t write it altogether (thats what some bible scholarly people say) but maybe he did.  i like to think he did.

it’s like he’s saying… “!!JFKLAJFSFD everything is soooo frustrating!! it won’t get any better… in fact, it just keeps getting worse!! if i could have anything in the world…anything at all, what i’d want is to rest in the Presence of the Lord.  to just see His beautiful face. and i just want to do this FOREVER.”

verses 5-6 follow this in almost little kid form.  like “MAN if i was there…just LET my enemies come.  i’d show them who was sitting high. i’d show them that MY FATHER is protecting me.  (don’t you just hear it…my daddy could beat your daddy at basketball!)  i’d show them that MY FATHER is not going to stand back and let me be bullied.  he seems to be saying MY FATHER is so amazing…and i just want to cheer Him on and shout how awesome He is and jump up and down as He shows those enemies of mine that no one can play this game like Him.

but no, david is saying man, if i were in that temple, my Father would be taking care of my enemies.  He’d put me in a safe place high above my enemies, where i was out of their reach.  because of this i’d sing and praise Him and shout and worship Him; not because He saved me,  because He is worthy of it.

it’s like a sweet daydream (that is actually true!) and then in v 7 he seems to come back to reality but the desire of the dream is so real.  ”oh please Lord…hear me when i call to you.  please answer me.”  he wants it so badly!!  but v 8…it’s sooo awesome.

this is 7-8 from the MSG

Listen, God, I’m calling at the top of my lungs:
“Be good to me! Answer me!”
When my heart whispered, “Seek God,”
my whole being replied,
“I’m seeking him!”
Don’t hide from me now!

AAAH…soo beautiful!  his heart was sooo tuned into God and worshipping Him and knowing that God was his deliverer, salvation, hope, refuge that his heart didn’t have to scream to be heard.  it was just a gentle whisper. the world is crashing down (which i think would be loud…right?!) and his heart whispers “seek God”  don’t figure it out yourself david…ask God what to do.  it was a whisper SO familiar to him that his WHOLE BEING replied i will seek God, no matter what.

and then the next part is so wonderful to me too…david knows the Lord so intimately.  he loves Him so much.  he seems to beg, “please Lord…never leave me”.  i feel like he is saying, i can endure ANYTHING but that.  [remember, this is shortly after david has been anointed king by samuel the prophet (1 sam 16) and the Holy Spirit has been removed from Saul because of his disobedience to God (1 sam 15).  the Holy Spirit did not dwell in every believers heart forever back then...] david knows that God could take His Spirit away and leave david with room for evil spirits or emptiness…and he can’t handle it.  it would be too much.

and he ends, of course in true david fashion, proclaiming his hope in God.  this time i believe in God’s promise of Kingship to him and that he will be out of this war eventually.

i an still confident of this; i will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. he wasn’t going to have to wait until heaven to see the Lord’s goodness.  he’d seen it before and he knew he’d see it again on this earth.  SUCH hope.  and he was willing to wait on it.  he knew the Lord to be faithful (heb 10:23).  He knew the Lord would provide in His timing (2 peter 3:9). he knew it was better not to quit this fight.  he knew he had to stay with His God.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 reminds us that even when it doesn’t seem like good will come, or an end is in sight there is reason to rejoice in the Lord our Savior.

the Lord is my light and my salvation.  He is my Joy!