psalm 27

when i started this blog writing about what i learned from the psalms was basically the point of the whole thing.

over the almost year since i started this thing i have been through and seen so much about God in these chapters, but as i mentioned in the previous post, i’m trying to get back to the heart of it…again.

over the last week or so i’ve had a handful of scriptures come up in various places.  lamentations 3:22, rev 21:5, jeremiah 33:3, 2 chron 16:9…and psalm 27. sunday alone it came up at least 3 times.  i came home that night and dug in.  here’s what i got…

the Lord is my light and my salvation

i am a picture person.  when i read i create pictures in my head to set up what i’m reading.  this is no different.  as i’ve read this part of the verse, i find myself picturing this dark dark void where fear is present.  but suddenly there is a light that appears, no matter how small, and suddenly the dark doesn’t seem so endless anymore, so hopeless, or so abyss-like.  have you ever walked through a church at night?  terrifying… playing those games in the dark was always horrible for me because darkness is scary.  but even the slightest glimpse of light around a door or from a window allows you to find your bearings again and sort of figure out where you should go.

this is what i think of when i read this verse.  in the deep scary darkness the Light shines ever so slightly or maybe super bright but suddenly you have direction again.when you’re lost or confused or have gotten turned around and are scared the Lord shines His light and offers you hope.  this light saves you.  it rescues you from whatever awaits in darkness. and no longer you have anything to fear.

Light casts out all fear.  the Lord casts out all fear.  where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.  freedom.  (2 cor 3:17)

verses 2-3 are like david is saying, EVEN when all the world is against me, everything is going wrong and  falling apart EVEN THEN, i love the NASB rendering in spite of all [that is going on around me] i will be confident [in the Lord]. even then i will look to the Light in the darkness and know that it will all be ok.

and i love verse 4.

one thing i ask of the Lord

one thing i seek

that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life

to gaze upon His beauty and to see Him in His temple.

of course in david’s form it seems to not fit in after what he’s just said about his enemies and the whole word falling in and all that.  maybe he didn’t write it altogether (thats what some bible scholarly people say) but maybe he did.  i like to think he did.

it’s like he’s saying… “!!JFKLAJFSFD everything is soooo frustrating!! it won’t get any better… in fact, it just keeps getting worse!! if i could have anything in the world…anything at all, what i’d want is to rest in the Presence of the Lord.  to just see His beautiful face. and i just want to do this FOREVER.”

verses 5-6 follow this in almost little kid form.  like “MAN if i was there…just LET my enemies come.  i’d show them who was sitting high. i’d show them that MY FATHER is protecting me.  (don’t you just hear it…my daddy could beat your daddy at basketball!)  i’d show them that MY FATHER is not going to stand back and let me be bullied.  he seems to be saying MY FATHER is so amazing…and i just want to cheer Him on and shout how awesome He is and jump up and down as He shows those enemies of mine that no one can play this game like Him.

but no, david is saying man, if i were in that temple, my Father would be taking care of my enemies.  He’d put me in a safe place high above my enemies, where i was out of their reach.  because of this i’d sing and praise Him and shout and worship Him; not because He saved me,  because He is worthy of it.

it’s like a sweet daydream (that is actually true!) and then in v 7 he seems to come back to reality but the desire of the dream is so real.  “oh please Lord…hear me when i call to you.  please answer me.”  he wants it so badly!!  but v 8…it’s sooo awesome.

this is 7-8 from the MSG

Listen, God, I’m calling at the top of my lungs:
“Be good to me! Answer me!”
When my heart whispered, “Seek God,”
my whole being replied,
“I’m seeking him!”
Don’t hide from me now!

AAAH…soo beautiful!  his heart was sooo tuned into God and worshipping Him and knowing that God was his deliverer, salvation, hope, refuge that his heart didn’t have to scream to be heard.  it was just a gentle whisper. the world is crashing down (which i think would be loud…right?!) and his heart whispers “seek God”  don’t figure it out yourself david…ask God what to do.  it was a whisper SO familiar to him that his WHOLE BEING replied i will seek God, no matter what.

and then the next part is so wonderful to me too…david knows the Lord so intimately.  he loves Him so much.  he seems to beg, “please Lord…never leave me”.  i feel like he is saying, i can endure ANYTHING but that.  [remember, this is shortly after david has been anointed king by samuel the prophet (1 sam 16) and the Holy Spirit has been removed from Saul because of his disobedience to God (1 sam 15).  the Holy Spirit did not dwell in every believers heart forever back then…] david knows that God could take His Spirit away and leave david with room for evil spirits or emptiness…and he can’t handle it.  it would be too much.

and he ends, of course in true david fashion, proclaiming his hope in God.  this time i believe in God’s promise of Kingship to him and that he will be out of this war eventually.

i an still confident of this; i will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. he wasn’t going to have to wait until heaven to see the Lord’s goodness.  he’d seen it before and he knew he’d see it again on this earth.  SUCH hope.  and he was willing to wait on it.  he knew the Lord to be faithful (heb 10:23).  He knew the Lord would provide in His timing (2 peter 3:9). he knew it was better not to quit this fight.  he knew he had to stay with His God.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 reminds us that even when it doesn’t seem like good will come, or an end is in sight there is reason to rejoice in the Lord our Savior.

the Lord is my light and my salvation.  He is my Joy!

psalm 13

there is something weird about the #13…sideways stories from wayside school didn’t have a chapter 13.  there’s the whole friday the 13th thing.  even shaggy’s doesn’t have a combo #13…it’s goofy superstition.

i love/hate this psalm.

i hate it because i relate to it a lot…and i don’t like that.  it’s not a happy psalm.  but i also hate it because when i get into the pattern of “why God…what about ME…”  it really turns into me, me, Me, mE, ME, me…i get into a pattern of really wrestling with my thoughts and feeling like God has really forgotten about me or my situation or my desires…and it spirals.  the spiral of ME seems so never ending, and it’s a fight just to get out of it.  which is impossible because when you’re dealing with junk it bogs you down and dominates your thoughts and it’s such a stinkin awful pattern.

but enough of that…moving on.

if you’ve read any of my blabbering about the psalms already you know that i’ve referenced this one lots of times.  dude, david’s life was crazy!  he’s the little shepherd boy that his brothers don’t like.  he kills a giant with a stone, he’s anointed king by samuel, for like 20 years he’s running around hiding from saul and his giant army…and that’s just the part up til now…

here’s the thing that hits me.  God CHOSE david to be His anointed one …now it’s been however many years and david is asking God, “hey…have you forgotten about me down here?!”

that so sounds like me.  i know what God has called me to and what He’s promised up til this point…but a lot of the time it seems like all i do is whine and complain about when all that is gonna get rollin…

i don’t understand God’s timing sometimes.  but really and truly, He will make us wait…He will let us wrestle with our thoughts and get down in the dumps about our lives (that might be bad theology…) but in verse 3 i think david touches on why God allows us to feel what david was feeling in verses 1-2.

¹ How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

david is so tired and distraught or whatever that he recognizes and confesses to God that unless God answers him and shows him light in the midst of his dark season, that he won’t be able to go on.  he tells God that unless He answers him, he will die.

God is able.  God is willing.  God does have plans and purposes for each life.  and when we surrender our lives to Him, He wants it all.  He’s a jealous God.  He’ll also do what He has to do to help us recognize that we are in desperate need of Him.   i can’t speak for david because i wasn’t there…but in my experience humans, even those of us that claim Christ as our Lord and Savior, try to do things in their own strength.  we try to work hard enough, go to enough bible studies, help enough people, handle all of our emotional baggage and be “strong” ( i hate that word…) but when we’re asked to get out of the boat and walk onto the water we say ooooh i can’t do that.  when things are “managable” we manage and survive. but when it seems like more than we can handle instead of going to God for strength we say ooooh no, i can’t do that.

but God is not a God who designed us to “survive“.  He designed us to live.  He designed us to do something so amazing that we wouldn’t believe it was possible even if someone told us about it.  (hab 1:5)  the problem is…to live the life that God intended for us we have to step out of the boat.  we have to give up the steering wheel…and we don’t get to be backseat drivers.  turns out though that we just don’t like green eggs and ham…we don’t like to give up control and take the risk of experiencing something without a pro/con chart or an excel spreadsheet.

but DUH!!! (that’s mostly for myself) of course He won’t let us be in control when His glory is at stake…He knows us!  He loves us beyond measure, but He knows that we are prideful little suckers and that our egos tend to get a bit puffed up when “we” do something great and noteworthy.  When His glory is on the line He will not allow us to enter into action until we can realize that without Him working in our lives that we might as well be dead.

my amazing and wise friend has been talking to us at our bible study about walking in our calling.  i can’t even begin to explain how amazing this has been.  but i feel like she said the same things as david in 13:3…we have to understand that to do what He wants us to do (which is something great) we must totally rely on Him.  2 Thess 1:11-12 by HIS POWER, HE may fulfill every good purpose of mine. we have to recognize that unless we rely on Him, we’ve got nothing but a little boys lunchbox of bread and fish.  When we rely on Him, however, that tiny lunch pail becomes enough to feed 5000 AND have tons of leftovers.

i love david.  seriously, i love his story and what he teaches me about God more and more each time i get into it.  i want to know the Lord so well that i know that without His working in my life that i might as well be dead.  i really want to believe and feel that (even though saying it is a little scary).  but for david to be the king that God intended for him to be, he had to strip david of himself and completely make him rely on God.  that’s how it should be in any true calling.  things that God calls us to do, generally are not in our own power and might.  they are things that will display His power and might.  things that will not give us glory and honor and praise, but will give it all to Him.  we’ve gotta get out of the boat, quit looking at all the waves, and trust that He will make it possible. (phil 4:13  i can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who gives me strength)  it’s not in our strength but His.

let me leave you with some verses.  i’m not gonna type them out, but i’ll link them cos i think they’re important enough to click on to read.

1 corinthians 2:1-5

1 corinthians 1:26-31

2 thess 1:11-12 (yep, you saw that one already)

colossians 4:17

thanks chris, for all these great scriptures…and i’m copying one of her points to end.  God’s power begins to move in us and through us to where the name of Jesus Christ is glorified in us. this is our goal.

we gotta be like david.  unless God shines His light on us, we might as well be dead.  then of course david, as he does, ends his psalm with an declaration of God’s faithfulness.

5But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

⁶ I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

i don’t know how he does it.  he starts off SO desperate.  he seems hopeless…but after his panic attack, he comes back to clarity and claims God’s truth…then praises Him for what He’s done.

i so want to be like david.  i want to be able to say that after i come back to clarity, no matter what the situation, that i trust in His unfailing love…and that then i can rejoice and sing praise to the Lord, because He truly has been good to me.

seeking His heart…what i learned last week…

really i’m still in psalm 12 here.  what i truly hope though, is that the Spirit is the one who pours out these words and that what i learned about His heart is truly clear.

i know that the Lord is a refuge.  a strong tower.  a place of rest.  a place to hide from the enemy.  He is a kind father.  a fortress for the widow, the fatherless, the oppressed, the weak, the poor.  i know all of these things in knowledge.

i live a blessed life.  sure, there have been times in my life where there was  great suffering and pain; loss and desperation. but truly i’m blessed.  i’m blessed because i never go without a meal unless it’s my choice.  i have never been too cold.  i have always had shoes.  i have cable.  i have TWO bathrooms in my house.  i can buy groceries. i have a job.  i have friends.  i have money…not a ton, no, but enough…enough that i even have some to spare sometimes to just do something fun.  i have a car.

you get the picture.

i’ve never truly had to depend on the Lord…like really…truly…honestly depend on Him.

at one time i even quit my job without having another one already lined up.  my mother was annoyed…probably really past annoyed.  i get that…i wasn’t being responsible.  i gave up insurance and a pay check and the knowledge of where my rent money was coming from…but i trusted the Lord for provision; He said He’d honor my decision and that He’d provide…and of course He came through.  it’s who He is.

EVEN then, in all reality, i still wasn’t truly depending on Him for EVERYTHING.  if worse had come to worst, i still would have had my family to fall back on.  don’t get me wrong, i believe that He accepted my offering of faith, and He blessed it abundantly.  but i still had food, clothes, a place to live, my car, my friends, my family, my freedom…i had no job, but my life was still very plush.

a few years ago, i found myself in panama.  i love that place.  i learned so much and experienced so much, but the thing that i brought home with me (and the girls in my small group at the time will amen this) was that the people i met had nothing, yet they gave abundantly and generously.  their joy in giving, and their offering of what they had (even though it was so little) truly blew my mind.  it reminds me of the story in mark 12, of the widow who went to the temple and gave all that she had to the offering.  i was humbled.  and when i came back home i was quite frustrated with the “looking out for #1” mentality that the american dream has plagued so many of us with.  to me, the people in panama were like the widow who had nothing…but gave all they had, and we are like the rich who throw in large amounts of money, but are just giving out of our wealth.  suddenly giving from wealth seemed very trivial.  it’s no real offering…no sacrifice to what is better. i was changed.

again last week, God took me away to show me Himself.

psalm 12: 5

“because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise,” says the Lord.  “I will protect them from those who malign them.” (niv)

i love the message version

Into the hovels of the poor,
Into the dark streets where the homeless groan, God speaks:
“I’ve had enough; I’m on my way
To heal the ache in the heart of the wretched.”

God HATES the oppression of His people.  He can’t stand the way that the cries of the needy and hurting sound…it breaks His heart.  His heart is for those who are hurting, suffering, hungry, sick, lonely, poor, widowed, orphaned…the list goes on.

james 1: 27 says religion that God our Father accepts as true and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their need and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

this is what He cares about. this is what He wants us to care about.

i fail at this everyday.  i don’t care.  let me explain…i do CARE.  in theory.  i say i care.  i hate those commercials from compassion international with the orphans.  at that moment i get all fired up and care so much about those kids…and others in need, but luckily those commercials are only like 28 seconds so i’m quickly freed from conviction and can go back to myself.  but i don’t actually care enough.  my heart hasn’t been changed enough to even start to be like His.

but…

for the last two weeks i have been blessed beyond anything comprehensible.  for two weeks i got to share life with these people that God cares about.  i got to see their faces.  i got to hear their songs.  i saw their living conditions.  i heard their prayers.  their laughter.  saw their tears. i got to experience freedom from my “creature comforts” of home.  of clean drinking water, showers, air conditioner, casa blanca.  for two weeks i truly got to fast from all things comfortable about my life.

it was horrible.

i’m so weak.  by day 3 i was just crying and begging God to get me through the next days with a little bit of grace…to bring me home.  i couldn’t take it for 2 weeks.  people live it their entire lives.  i got to live with people who spend their lives truly risking everything for the sake of Jesus.  who are called fools by their neighbors. who have experienced prison because of Jesus.  who give their whole life for the sake of caring for those in need,  for the fatherless, the sick, the hurting, the ones who can not care for themselves.

but hallelujah!  our God is a God who provides.  He heals.  He protects.  and because He hears their cries…and those cries break His heart He rises up to bring healing.  He will use whatever it takes to care for those people.  He’s on His way.  He’s never far from them.  i saw Him meet needs for many things, mostly seemingly small…like bringing rain so travel would be hard, like giving us guides in train stations, like telling us to take a guitar (when at the time we had no idea why…but we found out later it was)because He had promised one to one particular boy, in one particular town.  none of them seem like much.  but they brought protection, guidance, and fulfillment of promise.  our God is not only a God who meets the needs of the poor and oppressed, but He is also a God who meets their WANTS as well.  that boy didn’t need a guitar.  he didn’t NEED to learn how to play and sing to the Lord…but His desire was pure.  it will bring blessing to the Lord, and to others.  He wanted it…and God gave it to Him.  because of His compassion and mercy He is also a God who meets our desires.

i am not, and will never be worthy of serving the people i encountered the last weeks.  i, in myself, had nothing to offer them.  but because God is a God who hears the groanings and cries of the weak, He used me.  He will do anything it takes to heal the wounds of their hearts.  by day 3 i’d given up all self-sufficiency and strength of my own because i couldn’t handle what i was experiencing and in His grace He then stepped up and allowed me to SEE for the first time in my life.

because of the oppression of the weak He WILL NOW ARISE.  He will do whatever it takes to bring protection to them. He won’t stand by and let it go.  the Lord is not a God who tolerates injustice.

i am not worthy of the calling He gave me for that trip, or for my life.

i am not worthy of washing their feet…or looking them in the face.  i am not worthy of the grace and love given to me.  but our God is a God who gives EXCEEDINGLY, ABUNDANTLY more than we could ever ask or imagine.

i pray that i will never be the same.

that i will never forget their struggle…or joy.  the way their prayers and songs filled the entire house.  the way they hunger for the Word.  the way they cling to Hope.  the way they give out of their poverty.  the way that ‘father’s’ eyes gleamed as he proudly talked about his ‘children’.  the ones that everyone else counted as nothing.  they were his pride.

that is true religion that the Lord sees as pure and undefiled.

thank you Father for allowing me to see your heart.  i do not deserve to see the things i saw. you are too good to me.

amen.

rambling about lies…psalm 12:2

so this started as part of the psalm 12 post…but it’s super long so i split it…the beginning is probably just rambling, but there is a devotional (not by me) at the end that i think is worth taking a look at …

point 2…which is really one that i’m going to try not to go off about is in verse 2-4.  everyone lies to their neighbor; their flattering lips speak with deception.  may the Lord cut off every boastful tongue that says, “we will triumph with our tongues; we own our lips– who is our master?”

first…our words are painful.  our tongues must be tamed.  if we fear the Lord then we will allow Him to change the way we use our words through the power of the Holy Spirit.  pardon me if i’m super blunt here but if we claim to be followers of Christ, yet our words don’t reflect Him then we need to hit our knees and beg for Him to take control of our mouths.  if the Holy Spirit is dwelling inside of us we can not go unchanged…and if our words are not being changed we need to watch out.  james 3 is all about taming our tongues. check it out…it’s not even that hard, all you hafta do is click on the link.  biblegateway is amazing.  james 3 is  HARSH.  it’s one of those chapters that you read and you’re like…wow…you can’t misunderstand it unless you are really trying to.  it says that the tongue is like a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  it corrupts the WHOLE person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. …it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. ouch…we must learn to allow the Spirit of the Lord to control our tongues…and it may be a hard thing to do but if we resist it, we are accommodating sin…which causes us to be separated from God.

my real soapbox here though is WHY WE LIE?!?!?!?!  i don’t get it.  not that i think we should all go around telling each other that we smell, or look ugly today, or made a really bad parenting decision yesterday.  but what get’s me is straight up lying.  if you don’t like someones outfit…just don’t say anything.  somehow we feel like we’re obligated to say something nice about each and every person that we have any interaction with everyday.  sometimes i just don’t have nice things to say to people…it’s not that i have bad things to say, sometimes i just have nothing to say…(not that it’s good…or right…but it’s true)  we spend time in absolutely meaningless conversation and waste precious time that could be spent actually caring and getting to know someone.  what i hate even more is that when we lie we are creating false impressions about ourselves and others.  seriously, like when a teenager lies to their parents about what they’re doing that night, they might as well be calling their parents fools or idiots right to their face.  and that’s bad…but really i think the worst is when we lie to “protect ourselves”.  we lie about our feelings…about our needs…desires…who we are.  we pretend that words haven’t hurt our feelings, but since we’ve never spoken the truth to that person about how we’ve felt then deep down the relationship with that person begins to break down.  we will lie about how we feel about people too.  especially where our hearts are at risk.  we won’t tell people that we really love them or care about them because once we’ve said it…our heart has been set in the middle of the field for everyone to see.  lying is horrible. there are tons of proverbs about it…read them…hit up your concordance or some biblegateway for that.  yea, yea there is the good/bad, angel/devil side of that but really, i think that God has told us not to lie because He wants us to be like Him…and He can not lie.  satan on the other hand is the Father of Lies (john 8:44).  God knows how lies can hurt and harm us, and like the Good Father that He is, He wants the best for us.  He wants to protect us from things that harm us…and i’m sure that none of us have to look very far to find a lie that has caused us some pain. so why do we lie?  why can’t we just be truthful to the people we care about?  why can’t we share joys, pains, hurts, fears, hopes, dreams, feelings with people that we say we love? because sharing those things is what allows true love to be born (not like cinderella they lived happily ever after love…real agape love…God’s love)

true relationship is experienced inside the sometimes painful, risky arena of truth.  i was on a trip the last few weeks and a friend had sent me a letter with the following devotional enclosed.  it’s by rick warren and i really hope i’m not breaking any copyright laws or anything by posting it here…

i hope as you read it you are encouraged because you can think of a few people in your life that you truly share this relationship with.  maybe it’s just beginning to be this honest and real…or maybe it has been for a long time…but either way i think these relationships are rare…and to be cherished.  i know i’m very thankful for the ones in my life.

“But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

In Biblical fellowship, we should experience authenticity.

Authentic friendships are more than superficial, surface-level chit-chat. They involve genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing.

These friendships develop when we get honest about who we are and what is happening in our lives. They develop when we share our hurts, reveal our feelings, confess our failures, disclose our doubts, admit our fears, acknowledge our weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Unfortunately, this level of authenticity and intimacy is the exact opposite of what we find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, we often become involved in pretending, role-playing, politicking, superficial politeness, and shallow conversation. We begin to wear masks, keep our guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in our lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.

It’s only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, “If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other . . . If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:7–8 NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in God’s light, we can bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 5:16 MSG).

what if we had true, real relationships with people…based on who we are…the good, the bad, and the ugly.  i think those are the ones that God desires with us too.  look at peter for example…he was a screwup too!!!  but Jesus still built His church through him.  He loved peter in spite of anything bad in him.  He loves us that way too (thankfully…whew!!) and we should desire to love and be loved that way by others.

thanks for taking time to follow me as i seek the person of God.  He challenges me through His word daily and it’s a blessing to be able to share those challenges with you.

psalm 12v1

wow…it’s been a month since i wrote anything here.  it’s amazing how it’s so easy to start something, but then so easy to quickly not do it anymore. i stopped on psalm 10, and have still been reading but clearly not writing about it.  i’m not going to write about all of them and try to catch up, but i am going to pull out some of the ones that really struck me.

psalm 12.

¹ Help, LORD, for the godly are no more;
the faithful have vanished from among men.

² Everyone lies to his neighbor;
their flattering lips speak with deception.

doesn’t this seem like the world now?  it speaks to me so loudly of our world.  it seems like the godly are no where to be found sometimes.  it seems like everywhere you look there are ungodly things being praised, honored, glorified…while the things of God are nowhere to be found. to someone who is trying to live a godly life, it creates a real sense of not  belonging to this world.  it reminds me of that old hymn, this world is not my home, i’m just a passin’ through…my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue…

verse 6 says that the wicked freely strut about when what is vile is honored among men. i feel such a sense of caution when i read these verses.  the godly and faithful have vanished among men, but what is honored among men is vile and evil in God’s sight.  it reminds me that truly, God’s ways are not the ways of men.  in isaiah 55:8  God says My ways are not your ways, neither are My thoughts your thoughts.

it reminds me to check myself to see if i’m living among things honored by men or by God.  if the things i do and say and watch and listen to and engage in are honored in the world, then i can say pretty confidently that they are not honored in God’s eyes.  this scripture speaks to me of God’s holiness and purity.  it also reminds me that if i am to be transformed into the image of God (Rom 12:1-2) then i should not conform to the patterns of this world.  i shouldn’t allow myself to be enticed by things that the world says are good, when in God’s economy they are evil. hebrews 12:1-2 says that we should throw off every sin that entangles us.  i like the world entangles, because it creates a picture in my brain.  i am thinking of how cords get all tangled up when they’re thrown into a drawer or something.  they get all tangled and are SO hard to untangle.  it’s the same with us and our sin.  once we engage in things that the world encourages it’s so hard for us to untangle ourselves from them to free us to life in Christ.  we’re enticed.  our appetites have been encouraged…but our purity and holiness and sanctification have also been compromised.

next…..

psalm 10

david starts off with why, o Lord, do you stand far off?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? but i wonder if He really is far off when trouble is looming over us, or if we just feel like He’s far away because we don’t like what’s going on.  i’m not at war or anything, but i know that when i tend to be feeling particularly self-pitiful i feel like God is far away and just not doing everything He could be doing to make me feel better at that moment in time.  gee, how self focused am i?!

and ok…i’ll come back to what this psalm is teaching me about God…because in all honesty that’s what i’m doing this study for, but i have to get on this soap box for a second.  and i promise, its relevant to the psalm…so it’s fair game.

this psalm kinda rants about the evil, selfish, mean ways of the wicked man.  but it talks about how those people say things like “nothing will shake me, i’ll always be happy, and never have troubles” (verse 6) and dadgummit it really sometimes seems like that is the honest truth.  it’s not always true i know, but it really seems that way.  the most selfish, arrogant, rude people are ones that seem like everything just falls into perfect place for them.  my friend cathy and i were talking about this last night at bible study.  how it seems like some people never have to go through anything bad or hard or tragic in their lives and some people have it constantly.  now i know that all people who’ve had lives full of prosperity are not always rude selfish jerks.  i know quite a few of these people that are wonderful, amazing, loving, giving, gentle people.

but the people i’m thinking of are like sharpei from high school musical. (sorry disney…) who are schemers and try so hard to have everything their way, no matter who gets hurt.  and they make me so stinkin mad.

i’m saying this because i think that when you’ve had a rough go of it, you become grounded in a way that you can not begin to understand if you haven’t had rough stuff happen to you.  i think that maybe david was ranting about this so much (he went on about it for 10 verses) because he was seeing this behavior, and knowing that God doesn’t accept or bless it, and not understanding why they were prospering…which i have to admit i’ve wondered myself.  the thing we have to remember though is that prospering on earth is not an indicator of what life will be like after we’re through with our bout on earth.  i think david just wanted for God to show His Justice right then …i can almost see him just throwing his arms up and saying “God…seriously, you’re letting them act like this and get away with it?!?”  in verse 12 he says Lift up Your hand o God.  don’t forget the helpless! like, he knows that God could smite them right then and there…he’d already turned lot’s wife into a pillar of salt for crying out loud…david knew about that story.  he’s like “C’mon God …take care of this!”

but of course, being david, he refocuses on who God is, taking away his neurotic emotion that was making him act so crazy.  He goes to the truth.  this is what i want to learn how to do too.  especially when satan attacks me where there are holes in my armor.  i want to be able to rant to God, and then say, alright…but THIS is who You are…and i’m confident in it.

i love the last 5 verses ( really just 4….i like 14-18, but skip over 15)  so i’m gonna write them here…don’t skip over this part, it’s really the only part that matters of this whole thing anyway.

but You, o God, do see trouble and grief; You consider it and take it in hand.

the victim commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.

the Lord is King for ever and ever; the nations will perish from His land.

You hear, o Lord, the desire of the afflicted; You encourage them, and You listen to their cry

defending the fatherless and the opressed in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.

check it out in the message or the nlt they’re both great too. maybe even better than the niv.

WOW!  in my brain that is like i hear the hallelujah chorus go off!  it starts off with david, who is just hopeless and exhausted  and just tired of these old jerky fools having their way with whoever they come into contact with and just continuing to prosper!  it’s like he gives up a little bit, but then…dun dun duuunnnn…the white horse arrives.  there is suddenly hope again. david says…no, i’m not going to buy into this lie that you forget the poor, hurting, less fortunate people.  i know Your heart God.  i know that You hear them.  i know that You hurt with them.  i know that You hear their cries…and their hopes…and dreams.  i know that You give them home and by golly you will put an end to this whole mean guy winning thing.

and it’s so true.  when it’s all said and done, the mean guy won’t win.  we already know Who has won.  we know the end of the Story.  God knows the cries of the ones who are suffering.  He hears them…and victory is theirs.  i can own victory because in Him i’m victorious…whether or not i get what i long for on earth.  man can not terrify me…or you forever.  He will overcome man.  and i want to be able to declare with david, maybe even through tears or yelling or whatever, that God DOES hear…see…know…remember…

God does know about the injustice that happens in the world…He sees the whole, big picture.  and somehow in that big picture i’m not like where’s waldo.  He sees me without any trouble.  He doesn’t have to search.  i don’t blend in.  He sees me too.

and He’s gonna take care of it. all.  and in that i can put my hope.  david did…and he was called by God, a man after His own heart.

i love that when a psalm starts with a cry it always ends with a declaration of God.  take that satan. where there was no hope now we have Hope.

majesty

at asbury we recently had the GIC missions conference.  on wednesday night at the opening service the message was given by a man who has spent the last 30 years translating the Bible into a new language for an indian group in peru.  he talked about how hard it was to do because in english we have all of these abstract nouns like majesty, holy, glory. it is hard to explain these words to a people group who do not have words like these.

ever since he spoke about it, mr. webster has been my friend.  i’ve looked up lots of words that i thought i understood, like mercy and refuge.  once again i resorted to my friend to help me with majesty.

psalm 8

Oh Lord, our Lord

how majestic is your Name in all the earth!

david begins and ends this psalm with that line.  the seven verses in between justify and explain it.

majesty

1 : sovereign power, authority, or dignity
3 a : royal bearing or aspect: grandeur b : greatness or splendor of quality or character

clearly i didn’t add definition 2.  i felt like it was describing the queen of england more than God.

i love those definitions though.  i think that they all portray aspects of God.

sovereign power and authority: duh.  clearly God is Sovereign.  He is in control.  nothing on earth or under the earth can happen without His divine ok.  (see Job 1)  He is the One who controls the wind and the waves (see Exodus 14, Matthew 8:23-27).  He is the one who forms each person in the womb and knows the number of their days, their thoughts, their goings and comings (Psalm 139).  He is in control and He gets to do whatever He wants because He knows what’s best.

grandeur: this is something about God that i can not even begin to understand even a little bit. ( does that tell you how much i don’t understand it…or sentence structure)  isaiah 6 says that the train of His robe filled the temple.  that’s the best picture of God’s bigness and grandeur that i’ve got.  but seriously…the hem of His robe…that’s just a little piece really.  the only reference to the size of the temple is like a sanctuary.   even though we just built this giant new worship center  i really don’t think that it even begins to compare to the bigness of God when you think about the hem of His robe filling the whole thing!  hmm…i bet it’s a pretty impressive sight.  isaiah said he was ruined.  by the glory…by the grandeur.

i love the last one.  God is the absolute on this one…granted it doesn’t do Him any justice really…

greatness or splendor of quality or character.

His character is like an infinitely faceted diamond.  beautiful and perfect in every way.  His character can not be defined except by the word majestic.  mmm, how do you even take in the entire thing at once?  every once in awhile i feel like i get a glimpse of a side of His character.  Even less often i get a few at once, and i’m baffled at how He can be so many things…and then i begin to realize that there is no way my little human brain can begin to comprehend the wholeness of His character.  i feel like this is an amazing way to begin to describe it though…words like greatness and splendor and majesty and holy…all those words that we really can’t define with words.

i guess that’s why the angels say holy, holy, holy …

psalm 7…take 2

i may or may not do 2 posts about this psalm.  there is so much in here that tells me about the personality of God.  on wednesday at staff worship john talked about the different facets of God.  we talked specifically about His relationships with people and how we can’t focus on just one, but we need to step back and try our best to take in the fullness of Him.  for example, potter to clay, teacher to student, father to child, friend to friend, shepherd to sheep, etc.  i’ve also recently been learning this through the names of God, like Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Nissi, Yahweh, El Shaddai, etc.  to me this psalm also shows God in many different lights.  my focus for this study of psalms was exactly to learn more about the person of God, and that’s exactly what david allowed here.

God is refuge.

–noun

1. shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.: to take refuge from a storm.

2. a place of shelter, protection, or safety.

3. anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape.

i keep hearing the word refuge like it’s used in isaiah 25:4 …You are a refuge from the storm and a shelter from the heat…

i can totally understand both of those things.  it’s rained here a lot lately it seems like.  it’s been so gross.  i hate having to be outside in the rain.  i know it’s good for the ground and plants and stuff but it really makes me just want to stay inside with a blanket and be lazy.  too bad that usually isn’t possible.

I think of the time Jesus is sleeping on the boat and the disciples are freaking out, and Jesus just calms the storm.  they were afraid for their lives and Jesus was probably so calm when he rebuked the waves.  that’s how i see refuge in a storm.  storms in our lives are when we’re so afraid for our lives.  we think we can’t get out because death is inevitable.  He is our refuge.  He’s not freaking out.  He’s so calm, we just have to trust Him to rebuke the wind and the waves.

and yuck..shelter in heat…all you have to do is be outside in alabama in august to understand this. i love going inside on those days when you sweat just from thinking about how hot it is.  the relief to walk into air-conditioning is amazing.  refuge.

verse 6 says that God feels anger and wrath.

thankfully it also says that He is just, unlike i tend to be when i’m angry.  the thing about God’s justice though is that sometimes His justice and our idea of justice (especially when it’s pointed towards ourselves) doesn’t exactly line up.  this points me to God’s mercy and grace, even though they’re not mentioned in this psalm.  justice points me to grace because it shows how God gives us grace instead of the justice, or anger, or wrath that we deserve. God’s justice tells me that i don’t have to take revenge, because He will make it right.  He might not make it right the way i think is right, or do it today or tomorrow, but He will make it right.  He sees when people do wrong, and it’s cool cos He’ll take care of it.

grace is a cool thing.  i like it when it’s given to me…i have a harder time giving it back toward others.  the thing i’m learning about grace though, is that when we receive it, we have to pay it forward.  we have to give it out.  simply, grace is getting what you don’t deserve.  we’re saved by grace (acts 15:11, eph 2: 5, 8, 2 tim 1:9).  it’s harder to give sometimes than i think it is to receive.  grace is not holding others to a higher standard than yourself.  i think people tend to do that.  i put myself above others all the time.  Jesus knew that when He taught about the greatest command.  Love God, then Love Others.  if that came easily He wouldn’t have had to teach about it.  It’s also in Deuteronomy 6 and psalm 1. grace is realizing you can’t cuss someone out for doing the exact same thing you did 10 seconds ago.  it’s also realizing that all humans screw up, and it’s ok, i can forgive and be nice because  sometimes i screw up too…alot to be quite honest.  i’m thankful for God’s grace.

He is Ruler.

He is my shield.  my mind picture is like a warrior.  he has a shield to protect him from arrows (or guns if you wanna come to this century…)  in the line of fire, God stands before us protecting us from the arrows that satan shoots our way.  i also recall that He is called our defender (psalm 48:3, 68:5, prov 22:23, isa 51:22).  it’s cool how by going through THIS psalm i’m remembering other qualities too.

the last one i’m talking about is judge. i’m glad that He has that job.  in james 4:12 i’m told not to…¹² God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?  the MSG version says who do you think you are?! haha thanks Eugene Peterson…

there aren’t enough words to describe my God.  i’m glad.  i’m glad that the God i worship isn’t one that can be fully described in words.

psalm 6 :: mercy::

Your mercy found me upon the broken road, and lifted me beyond my failings-hillsong

the Lord has shown you what is good. and what does He require of you? to act justly to love mercy and walk humbly with your God.  micah 6:8

turn o Lord and deliver me; save me because of your mercy (niv…unfailing love)

for his mercy endures forever . psalm 136

the word mercy is mentioned 100 times in psalms alone.  i started counting variations of the word mercy like merciful, mercies, etc…but i lost count twice so i stopped.

webster’s defines mercy as this:

1 a : compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one’s power; also : lenient or compassionate treatment <begged for mercy> b : imprisonment rather than death imposed as penalty for first-degree murder
2 a : a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion b : a fortunate circumstance <it was a mercy they found her before she froze>
3 : compassionate treatment of those in distress <works of mercy among the poor

i bolded and italicized the ones that to me describe the mercy david was begging God for in psalms.

david starts this psalm asking God to not punish him in His anger.  He’s asking God for mercy.  for lenient or compassionate treatment…that he doesn’t deserve.  none of us deserve His mercy.  all humans have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  one of God’s attributes is His justice.  fortunately for us He doesn’t send His judgment down on human beings like we deserve.  He shows us mercy.

i read this psalm in the NLT, NIV, MSG, KJV, and ESV translations of the bible.  6:2 (niv) : be merciful on me, Lord, for i am faint.

instead of the word merciful, other translations also used : be compassionate, or be graceful.

6:4 (niv) turn, o Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. unfailing love here is also translated mercy in the kjv.

so …david is a guy who knew what a messed up pile of junk he was…AND that he was loved and known by a great, merciful, powerful God. in this book, my beautiful idol by pete gall he talks about how we see ourselves as this pretty, idol-worthy, better than the world person.  i could be wrong, and i’ll ask him next week…cos he’s coming to our small group, i could be wrong…but i think that the book is sort of his journey from seeing himself as a great successful guy to seeing himself as a pile of junk that is in need of a Savior…and in the midst of that finding out his value to that Savior.  i think maybe that is the key to understanding mercy. i’m pretty sure that we can’t understand our desperation for the Savior’s mercy until we can truly see that we deserve his wrath.  wow…wrath.  that’s a harsh word. i think that possibly God’s wrath is the same thing that demanded that Jesus be separated from Him, for the first time in eternity, to die on the cross for the sin of all mankind, which includes me.  and it demands that i open my eyes to the fact that if Jesus hadn’t done that, i’d be headed straight for eternal punishment…hell…the lake of fire…the place of eternal weeping and gnashing of teeth…eternal separation from God…eternal anguish…even just typing those words brings tears to my eyes.  because even if i deserve it, i don’t want that…it’s so frightening that i deserve that…but the tears come from relief that i have knowing that God showed me His mercy. because of His mercy , His unfailing love, His compassion, His grace i don’t have to go to that horrible place for eternity, but i get to spend it with Him.  if there was ever a moment for a really loud HALLELUJAH i think it might be now.

i don’t like to see myself like that though.  that might have been another thing pete gall was admitting in his book.  i need to understand how horribly icky i am.  i need to see myself without my selfish blinders on and see myself through the eyes of justice.  because THEN …when i see myself as i truly am THEN i understand a little more of how amazing it is to be loved by the Savior.  then i understand mercy. my worth is in the Almighty.  i’m nothing…but He loves me and shows me mercy.

david was begging God not to give him what he deserved.  he understood that he was just a pile of junk.  but he knew that God heard his prayer (6:9).  God hears the prayers of the righteous (prov 15:29).  because of His mercy, God saw david as righteous instead of the pile of dirt and scum that he really was.  that’s how He sees me too. i don’t deserve it…i don’t understand it…but i’m so thankful for it.  but even so, i’m not sure i’m really thankful enough…i don’t think i beg for God’s mercy enough…or see it when He shows it.  instead i selfishly beg for more things that i don’t deserve…ha, and generally gripe about it when God says no, or wait a while longer.  when it really comes down to it, i still see myself as that beautiful idol…but i’m trying so hard to see myself as He does.  it’s really hard.  that’s why i’m doing this thing.  i want to see Him, and know Him more…outside of myself.

today i see that He is merciful and for that i’m amazed and humbled.

salmos cinco, part 1

this is a strange one.  it goes back and forth from “God you are so good”, to “man those evil people stink…but You’re gonna take care of that…” i wonder what was going on in his mind when he wrote this.

verses 1-3 and 11-12 are the ones that really stuck out to me.  as i’m reading through this, focusing on getting to know God’s heart, i’m also noticing how much i’m focusing on david’s feelings.  he was a man after God’s own heart. david was God’s CHOSEN king of isreal.  i don’t know if God really has favorites or not, but if He did, i’d think david definitely was on that list.  even so, david had a tough run through life for awhile.  he was 15 when samuel anointed him, but it was 22 years after that that he became king of all isreal…i mean wow…talk about a lesson in patience.  and he was God’s CHOSEN one.  i guess in some way it makes me feel better that even DAVID felt like God had forgotten about him sometimes too.  i have to laugh though, because if you look at the guys in the old testament, waiting on God’s timing was a really key theme.  joseph waited a long time IN JAIL to be delivered and come into his place of honor.  abraham waited a long time on his promised son. noah waited a long time on a boat…that by the way took him a really long time to build…in the desert…when it had never rained before. i wonder if they felt forgotten too.  the people of isreal waited on the Messiah to finally come, and now we’re in the ultimate waiting game waiting on Him to come BACK and rescue us.

i’m going to mix it up a little.  psalm 5:3, 1-2  in the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning i lay my requests before You and wait in expectation.  1. give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing 2. listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to You i pray.

2 things pop out.

1. in the morning i lay my requests before You and wait in expectation. i think sometimes i pray safe prayers.  i don’t set my expectations high enough.  a few weeks ago my expectations were SHAKEN UP when after the death of a friend i found out that his parents were praying for LIFE; yea…for ressurection.  i’ve struggled with this since then.  yeah in my head i BELIEVE that God can do things like raise people from the dead, but in my heart…way deep down, do i really believe that He can do it right here, right now, right before my eyes?  that day i was hit right in the face that my answer was NO.  and i was devastated.  it struck me that i put God in a box.  i believe that HE IS GOD…He is Creator, He loves me (unexplainably…and that always gets to me) and that He is STILL ALIVE…and doing miracles all the time.  i’ve even been blessed enough to see one or two, but WOW…resurrection, really?!  my expectations are too low.  and i am not ok with that.  since then i’ve been praying for God to show Himself in mind blowing ways, to manifest Himself miraculously, LARGELY, mind-blowingly (not a word i know…), because i want to break my box to shreds.  i want to KNOW personally the God who heals cancer instantly, who protected shadrach, meshach, and abednigo in the fire, i want to SEE the fire and rain come down from heaven because we ask for Him to reign and do miracles, the GOD that i BELIEVE HE IS…i want to know He’s that, and i think david did too. i want Him to blow my mind…He’s done it over and over again, but i’m not satisfied.

2. david says that he knows God hears his voice…but in verses 1 and 2 he is begging God to listen.  give ear to my words, consider my sighings, listen to my cry. it’s almost like he’s so desperate that he’s begging God to listen and move in his life, but in verse 3 he’s reminding himself and declaring to God that he KNOWS He hears and that God WILL answer.

i’m glad that david, the man after God’s own heart, the man God CHOSE as king of His people had to remind Himself of God’s attributes.  in his waiting, hiding, and running He KNEW who God was, but sometimes had to cry out to Him and declare it to Him to remember it.  i’m glad that i’m not the only one who sometimes feels like i’m begging God to hear my prayers.  He WILL show up to me.  He WILL manifest Himself. He WILL be faithful to His promises, and because of His mercy and grace He WILL work everything out for my good…when i knock, He WILL answer.

i want to be waiting expectantly.